E-books Indeed!

I remember with fondness those bleak winter nights, where I would sit breathing in the wisdom of countless authors as I basked in the warmth produced by the flames. This of course was before it was decided that only the affluent can have open fires and the poor have unaffordable central heating forced upon them. My winters are now freezing.

I love to read. Physical books apart from being tangible things that you can carry with you and read anywhere can also be very useful for things other than reading. Here is why I prefer physical books:

  • Can you take a kibble thing or a tablet into the bath? Of course you can but what if you drop it? If I drop my book I hang it up to dry you will be crying at the costs of replacement.
  • Explain to me how I drag e-books out of hiding and put a match to them when I am cold!
  • Will I be robbed in the street for my pile of books? I think not.
  •  How do I bounce an e-book off the head of a cat when it’s peeing or spraying on the veggies in my garden?
  • When times are hard, can I roll tobacco in the fine pages of an e-bible?
  • Can I flap an e-book about to kids saying “look a bird book”?
  • Can I secure my wobbly table with an e-book?
  • Can you find rare e-books and sell them for a fortune on Ebay?

E-books are complete crap basically. Apart from the fact you damage your eyes trying to read them; once read they are absolutely useless.

When asked what is my favourite book I often reply “Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie as it gave me a great heat, The Pearl by John Steinbeck due to its aerodynamic properties producing a nice scud on a cat’s head, the bible for its holy smoke, some migraine-inducing work by Derrida for fixing my table, oh and I’ve read too many good ones to pick a favourite”!


About tongnaboot

Just somebody else with time on their hands and a head full of nonsense.
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